Monday, December 18, 2006

The Internal Alien

It must be the time of year. I have felt as if I have been so incredibly busy these past few weeks, and not just in a physical or practical sense, my mind has been busy too - the latter possibly causing the slight feeling of exhaustion and at times frustration.

I am working on four paintings at the moment and I am struggling to finish one as I am finding myself getting bored or lacking discipline with one piece only to then start a new one. I have worked this way in the past and it has not been a problem, I am used to having more than one work on the go at any given time, however, it just seems to be creating a more chaotic feeling for me at the moment.

The new year is fast approaching, and as I do every year at this time, I am finding myself assessing and reassessing my current position and realising all the things that have changed since the last assessment and those that haven't along with those that I want to change and those that I don't. I also realise that despite often being quite a self absorbed artist, I am also a grateful one.

I feel that artistically I have had a very productive year and I am happy with where I am at with my work and what I have planned for my next exhibition, however, I feel I could have made better use of my time this past year. I guess that's one thing about moving house too often, it can be just as unsettling as it is exciting, and sometimes by the time you feel settled and comfortable with your new surroundings and create the order you so desire, it is time to move and change again.

I'm rambling. I'm rambling because I know I should be painting instead of writing. I should be using my time more productively, but an outlet is sometime a necessity.

Some days I could swear I have no idea who I am...other than an artist. Some days art is all I know.

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