Chasing My Tail

I’m sitting in a lounge room, looking out of the window at regular intervals, watching three Noisy Mynah birds. One just tried to land on a long stem of a flower and in doing so, its weight pulled the flower down and the Mynah found itself lying on its back with its feet still wrapped around the stem. It brought a smile to my face and had I not looked up at that moment, I would’ve missed it.

I have the heater on this morning, and yesterday I set up an area in which to paint and even started working on a new piece. It felt good.

I don’t have my own laptop at the moment which is one of the reasons I have not been writing as much as I’d like to. However, I find when I do have access to one I have so much to organize ‘online’ that I often run out of blogging time. It is a sad thing to think that so much of my life’s ‘organisation’ has come to depend on the internet. Some days, having it is a blessing, other days a curse….but unfortunately it seems to be the way of the modern world these days – even for artists.

I still have so much to do in the way of correspondence, a lot of which I have not yet caught up with since returning home. I had hoped to get to Perth this weekend for an exhibition I am taking part in but it is just not feasible right now. I need this time to catch up.

It’s a catch 22. The things I need to do on here all relate to my art and the 'promotion' of it, so it has to be done, but all I really want to do is paint.

Womb To Move

Sitting at an old computer, that used to be mine, it is incredibly slow, and a reminder of how things have changed. I am at my parents house, alone. It is cold but full of warm memories. Memories almost as far back as I can remember.

I remember moving here...and moving out, then back for a while, and out again.

I spent a lot of time drawing and making art here and developed much of my artistic style in this house. I remember as a very young girl, sitting at my fathers feet and drawing pictures of his face in black biro.

This house has kept part of me a child for many years. It is womb-like for me and has provided great comfort on numerous occasions.

It is only fitting with everything else that has been changing and evolving around me lately that this chapter comes to an end at this time.

With every end comes a new beginning...and so on...and such is life.

The End Of An Era

I just got a call from my mother. Their, (my parents), house has just sold. The house I spent the majority of my childhood in. The house I went back to when I needed comfort, when nowhere else, with my semi gypsy-like lifestyle, felt like home.

Nowhere has really felt like home for a while and at the moment, I am living out of a suitcase. I am ok with this, for the time being, although I am looking forward to creating a new place to paint...a space to make art.

Summer, Winter, Spring, Autumn, Summer, Winter

I have experienced six seasons in the past 4 months. I guess it's no wonder I returned to Winter in Melbourne, (after an 8 hour stopover in humid Cairns), with a cold on Monday afternoon.

Nothing much has changed here, and in many ways, that's comforting, though in others, it just causes my feet to itch again.

I am happy to be home though. There is much to be done.

I have not painted since returning home and after 5 days of readjustment and reuniting I am eager to start. I need to paint.

Sayonara

Today, it was Osaka that I said farewell to. A very different feeling to yesterday’s intimacy with Kyoto. Osaka is an eye sore in comparison but does possess some of its own unique charm. It is these random charming qualities that I will miss once I return home to Australia, and in reflection on my time here.

I will not miss holding my breath as I get stuck behind a flock of smokers walking slowly down the mall, or at the lights, or in a bar or restaurant. I am a stereotypical ex-smoker...and Japan is a very pro-smoking society. I struggled a lot with this. I won't miss dodging numerous puddles of phlegm coughed up on the pavement as I walk to the shop or the station, nor will I miss the sound of them being expelled. I will not miss the hostile stares and random verbal abuse I received from various characters in the area I was living. I will not miss the air in Osaka, or my dimly lit apartment.

There are many things I will not miss, but even with its more negative qualities, Japan has continued to inspire me, sometimes even without me realising it. I know I will wish to return.

The list of things I will miss however is possibly greater. Japan does possess much beauty and continues to intrigue me. The experience was quite a humbling one and one I am grateful to have had.

So Long...

I said my farewell to Kyoto today.

I love that place. I hope to return to it again some day, if not, I know it will always influence me as an artist in some way...and I am grateful that I have been able to visit it on numerous occasions during the past four years.

This time tomorrow, I am due to be in the air, flying through the night sky, on my way...home.

Road Runner, Road Runner...

Going a thousand miles an hour.

Such is my mind right now. Racing.

This is my second last night in Osaka, (this trip), before flying out of Japan on Sunday night. I feel quite emotional at the moment - about leaving Japan and about going home. My heart and mind feel a little at tug-o-war right now.

My grandfather had a heart attack on Friday. He is 85 and frail. I want to get home to see him again. There are also many other reasons and things that are calling me homeward.

I took myself out of the grey and into the green today, with a visit to Mino. It was so pleasant being amongst an abundance of nature.

I have had a rather tumultuous relationship with Japan this time around, however, I feel it is a relationship I will never really leave. This place, despite it's many frustrating (for me) aspects, still has a lot to offer and the ability, I believe, to keep me interested for a very long time. Sounds like the perfect love affair.

Today was a brief reminder of the many endearing and inspiring qualities this place possesses, and a reminder of why I keep coming back to Japan. I will miss it when I leave.

A cockroach just crawled across the tatami floor of the apartment. A reminder of a contrary nature. And a sign that Summer is upon us. Perhaps I am leaving at a good time.

Tomorrow I plan to say farewell, for the time being, to Kyoto.

Emotions are running quite high at the moment.

This has been quite a journey.