Friends, Foes and Fetishes

I usually shy away from the sun, or become slightly angered by it when it hits my skin whilst driving – however today I sat in it purposefully for a good hour… it was the morning sun, not at all harsh. There was an energy there that felt good

Whilst I don’t necessarily succumb to any sort of character labelling, I’ve often been told if a hippy merged with a goth you’d get me. However, and I laugh - I am not sure where my recent shoe fetish fits in…

Perhaps I could say – tongue in cheek- that I was more in touch with the hippy than the goth today as I even found myself stepping outside, once home, several times to mindlessly throw the ball for the dogs and soak up some vitamin D. Maybe it was due to the conversation I’d overheard earlier whilst out in the sun sipping on my – wait for it – soy chai.

It was impossible to not hear the conversation of a plutonic man and woman who sat across from me. We were the only three people at the table.

They discussed mostly her intimate relationship troubles and triumphs, and the questions and concerns relating to them, also new beginnings and spiritual journeys, self-discovery and growth, ashrams and, of course, the recent Super moon.

She was younger and more frenetic, attractive, and obviously in need of a coffee date with her older, calmer and perhaps wiser friend. He had a bit of a ‘been there, done that and now I am in a better place’ thing going on. He listened far more than he spoke, and when he did speak he spoke with clarity and compassion.

The conversation seemed to flow freely with me sitting in earshot but at times I felt somewhat awkward, the sun, however, felt comfortable, warm and non intrusive.

I grew quite fond of both of them whilst sitting there and when I did leave, with them still chatting away, I could see that she already felt more at ease than she did when they first sat down.

It stressed, in my mind, the importance of good friends and good listeners, and also that the only person that can really solve one’s own problems – is oneself. Although it does often help hearing yourself say things out loud to another person - to watch their reaction and listen to their response and thoughts on a particular matter.

Perhaps if I really did possess strong hippy-esque qualities I might link the recent natural disasters to something like the Super moon… then again, I might also be of the opinion that Mother Nature is just extremely pissed off with the way we humans are treating planet Earth… But, alas! I am neither a hippy nor a goth…. I am simply a girl in the world.

I like tags on my character as much as I like tags on my art, which is really not very much at all…. I like to think that just like my artwork, my character is open to interpretation…. I do not expect everyone to like it, or even to give it a chance or second thought but for those who do, I appreciate the fact that they look beyond the surface and find something they can engage in or relate to… in some cases things that also allow them to look inside themselves and ask their own questions…

Everything I write and or paint is in a sense a self-portrait… for it is always a form of self-expression.

Studio Day

Some random images from the studio today...

Thinking about my home away from home...

I don't really pray, but I am wishing and hoping incredibly hard that Japan 's crisis does not worsen and... without sounding insensitive towards the thousands upon thousands of lives that have been lost and deeply affected, that the people of Japan, in particular those in it's most devastated areas, can recover from this awful tragedy without having to fear things like simply drinking water!

In regards to radiation, I truly hope that a lot of what we are hearing through the media has been sensationalized.

A short post, yes... Simple, perhaps... but possibly one of the most heartfelt.

Homage after Hiatus

Well, it has been a mad start to 2011.

I am finding it hard to comprehend where the first two months of the year disappeared to. It's almost like they somehow bypassed me, but I know I was there for them, during which time I turned 37 - (sometimes I feel I could say the same thing about the last 20 years)... but I have been present for them all.

I'm not as fearful of forty as I was a couple of years ago, though I would like to unpack my suitcase of dreams and ambitions that were packed away somewhere in my late twenties and have been sitting in storage for most of my thirties. If anything, with 40 being within smelling range, it has made me determined to pursue and achieve as many of those things as I can between now and the beginning a new (age) decade.

To commence, or perhaps continue, on this journey, I need to first find the road that leads to my studio. It's path has been somewhat obscured of late but I am slowly tidying things up in order to be able to see it more clearly.

My car wouldn't start today. At first I was a little irate about it, but that feeling dispersed rather quickly as I remembered what I had said to an eye-rolling, heavy sighing, nasty-muttering elderly lady yesterday as she was losing her patience with a checkout queue in Target... "at least we are not in Japan."

Of course, I love Japan, it is my second home, but my comment was a subtle yet direct reference to the recent earthquake and tsunami that has devastated far too large an area and population of a most beautiful country. I didn't feel any explanation was necessary, nor did anyone else around me say anything - but I know they all heard... and I can only hope that for a brief moment, the people in the queue, along with myself, stopped to consider perhaps how fortunate we really are and of course, how insignificant a slow service line really is!

I used the same thought principle in relation to my idle vehicle. Sure, I had a lot I wanted to get done today, but in hindsight, if I had done all these things, I may not have found myself back in my studio today enjoying the feeling of pens and brushes in my hand and paint on my feet!


It felt great. I felt happy. And before too long, I'd totally forgotten about my car and how I was going to fix it.

I have been asked to participate in a group exhibition titled, Homage to Frida (Kahlo) in June this year at 19 Karen on the Gold Coast. As she is one of my major influences I didn't hesitate to agree. I spent today browsing images of her and her works, scanning through her diary pages and reading a number of her better known quotes. It felt nice to be involved again!

And nice to, once again, be making marks.

Annual Reflection...

Another year over.

I am sad to say, I did not achieve all I set out to achieve this year.

I am happy to say, I intend to pursue these ambitions in 2011.


My little reflection...

eleven eleven o ten

Halloween Head.

Taking Time before Making time...

In relation to 'stopping and smelling the roses', I ventured outside in my own hometown last week only to be reminded that I had actually forgotten how truly beautiful it is.

I have vowed to make the most of it's beauty in the short period between now and holiday-maker hell.

It will be during that time I shall hibernate in my studio whilst the ignorant and arrogant populate and abuse this area's naturally picturesque and normally peaceful wonderland.

On the Road Again...

I returned home late this afternoon from my 5th and 6th day off in 11 weeks, and the first two consecutive days off in over 3 months. My head and a piece of my heart told me to take the opportunity to get back into the studio and start planning some works for my 2011 exhibitions... a greater piece of my heart told me to get in the car and drive... and keep driving until I reach my parents place, just over the border, in New South Wales - so I did just that.




Although it was just a two day trip it felt longer. Partly due to the fact that Tuesday felt like Summer and today was on par with a stormy Winter's day, and partly because I'd forgotten what it felt like to have a proper 'weekend' - a whole TWO DAYS to do whatever I choose.


I chose wisely.


It just so happened that my 5th day off in 11 weeks fell on the 5th of October, which is my mother's birthday. I informed my father of my planned trip, but my mother had no idea, so the surprise made it even more worthwhile.


I was the last to leave my parent's house this morning, and as I did, I was overcome by a sudden wave of emotion that took me a little by surprise. It was quite short lived but did leave some residual impact. I must make time to visit again soon.



Driving back today, I decided to take the long way home and stopped off in Bendigo, and again in Castlemaine, taking advantage of the fact that there was no set agenda for the day.




The past two days were a reminder... to slow down occasionally and smell the roses... the flowers... or even the rain.

The Chop

True to form, I have initiated a 'Spring Cleanse' by doing something either dramatic, spontaneous or both; this time it was chopping off all my hair.

For the first time in almost 20 years, I have nothing to hide behind.

... I'm still waiting for the feeling of so called liberation to set in! Perhaps after the initial shock has worn off..

Hiatus, Bronchitis and other things.

Today I was forced to take my second day off 'work' work in 6 weeks.

My first was Tuesday of last week, when I drove to Melbourne to catch up with Andrew Chan, an artist friend of mine who was visiting from New York. Andrew and I exhibited together at Jackman Gallery in Melbourne some time ago. It was an enjoyable day, albeit somewhat rushed. I live a fair distance from the city centre so I don't travel there as often as I used to, or would like to.

I call it 'work' work because it has nothing to do with painting, or 'making art', other than the fact that in some way it will help me be able to afford the supplies I need to do so.

The past few months have created a number of extra financial woes and several weeks ago I took the opportunity to take on some extra work outside of painting and hospitality. This resulted in me working 7 days a week for close to 5 weeks until my day trip to Melbourne.

Today, I am home with a nasty cough that has gotten progressively worse over the last few days. After a sleepless night and several violent coughing fits, I managed to fall asleep this morning at around 6:30am, after turning my 7am alarm off. I re-awoke just after 9:30am and whilst my head was thinking about going in to work for a half day, my body would not allow it. My stubborn cerebellum had to surrender to my weary and continuously coughing corpus.

My painting hiatus has played on my mind every day over the past 6 weeks but I have been so physically busy that I've not had an opportunity to dwell. I am sitting only inches away from a tonne of art supplies but my fuel tank is empty. It's taking enough energy to type a blog entry. Although I am well aware this is just another one of those temporary pauses, I do feel a sense of both guilt and frustration that I am not in a position to offer the attention my art desires.

Sometimes in life we are forced to just stop and rest for a while, even if it is against our will or our ethics. It's against both for me but I'm doing it anyway!

Art for a Cause.

Several months ago, I was invited to participate in a Screamdance project titled Schaffas 2.

Adelaideans Sam Barratt & Chris Edser (Screamdance), hand-picked art-friends from all over the world to customize their own breed of schaffas. They were each sent a similar blank shape and given free reign to add, subtract, paint or destroy these objects.

I received my blank Schaffas sometime in January. I contemplated for a number of months as it sat on a bench next to Matryoshka and Kokeshi dolls in my studio.

It looked like this.


After a lot of time spent staring at this naked wooden creature, Shinjuku Schaffas-San was born.

Unfortunately, I did not make it to Adelaide for the great unveiling of the Schaffas 2 creations, however, they were all made available for viewing online here.

I am happy to say that Shinjuku Schaffas-San found herself a new home, and all proceeds from the sale of the Schaffas went to a wonderful Oxfam cause: Close the Gap.

Thank you to Sam and Chris for organising such a fun event for a great cause.

Schaffas 2, the book, can be purchased from the Screamdance website.

Golden Opportunity...

Pardon the pun, but I couldn't resist the title.... and who knows, maybe it is.

I am determined to keep an open mind about any new galleries that approach me. If I feel some kind of rapport through initial communications with the gallery director/s then I am prepared to take a chance. I choose to see it as an opportunity - for both parties... but unlike any professional relationships in the past, there won't be two chances. One should be ample. I'm not speaking from a sales angle, I am referring to the way in which the artist, and their work, are treated during the relationship with a gallery.

After being contacted by a Gold Coast gallery on July 10, I am feeling a sense of optimism about entering a new relationship of this nature. I have agreed to be represented in Queensland by 19 Karen Contemporary Artspace, and have a scheduled group show, (June), and solo show, (August), for 2011.

The communication I have engaged in with Terri thus far has been somewhat refreshing. Her words have been encouraging, but her actions, to date, have promptly cemented my optimism.

BB and the Babushkas

This time last year, I received what was possibly the worst phone call of my life to date. It was my mother. She was somewhere between southern Queensland and northern New South Wales, my grandfather was in Melbourne, at the Austin hospital. Mum was calling me to tell me he had suffered a severe stroke and was not expected to recover, doctors expected he would not see the day through. They were right.

On this day last year I watched my dear grandfather drift away into the unknown.

On this day last year, I had to make the hardest phone call I have yet to make. I had to call my mother and tell her that her father had taken his last breath and that she would not make it home in time to kiss him goodbye.

It was my first experience of such a situation. It is a vision I will never forget, but he lived a life full of wonderful things to remember... and celebrate.

Despite feeling the past 12 months have gone somewhat quickly, it seems hard to believe he has been gone that long. My memories feel much more recent and his name is still next to my nan's on my phone's contact list.

I have recently been celebrating his life, and influence on mine, through my painting. I'm sure he would have gotten a kick out of them.

In loving memory of BB. 3 March, 1922 - 28 July, 2009.

X

Fuck EOFYS.

If I hear that term, (EOFYS), once more this week I think I might scream.

I don't go to the sales, not just because I don't have money to blow, but I hate crowds, especially ones that are full of people mindlessly and madly fighting to access then purchase things they don't even really need. To me, it's just a reminder to do my tax. In recent years, I've even ignored that, having submitted three years worth earlier this year - but, alas! I am actually organised this year... for the first time in a LONG time... and it feels pretty good.

My recent visit to see my parents proved to be a very positive exercise in many ways. Although the stay was very short, I came back with a fresh mind and renewed enthusiasm. I've changed my way of thinking about certain aspects of my life... or even just life, and am slowly putting thoughts into action - little by little.

So - It seems I am once again grabbing onto some sort of symbolism that relates to the time of year and new beginnings and blah, blah, blah... but I've learnt that I don't have to wait for any specific day or event to remember resolutions or make positive changes - I can start whenever I like. I even said goodbye to blonde this week. It took almost a year to get close to the desired colour, but the maintenance became tedious and expensive so I decided to abandon it. I was toying with the idea of shaving it all off but decided just to kill the light with darkness. (As opposed to trying to kill darkness with light in most other situations.)

I've been approached by a Gold Coast gallery this week about representation. I'm seriously considering the possibility as it is actually a gallery I have been watching for a little while and so far feel quite positive about what they do and the work they show.

I have my gallery in Perth to thank for restoring my faith in the system a little. I am sure they are the minority - but the important thing is: they do exist.

Road Trippin'

I returned home today from a short stay, but most enjoyable road trip to Moama. It was a long overdue visit to see my parents.

I had not seen my mother since a friends wedding last November, and my father since September. It seems like an awfully long time but has somehow gone very quickly. It always sounds so cliché saying things like "I can't believe it's the end of June already", and "the years seem to go faster and faster as we get older", even though it really does feel this way. I honestly did not think it had been so long since I last visited my parents.


I had decided to go on a surprise visit, but when I missed my turn off and drove a fair bit further on the Hume Highway than necessary, I called my father to let him know I was on my way - the long way - and that I had hoped to arrive before midday and surprise my mother at the radio station, where she was doing a community on-air slot that day from 9am - midday. For a little while I was concerned I was not going to make it in time but I got there with 40 minutes to spare... and the surprise was a success.

Although my father was already aware I was on my way, it did not stop him from exhibiting emotion when I walked into the studio. Every time I see him I am reminded where I got my ridiculously emotional character from! It was quite moving though, and made me realise I should do it more often, (visit them that is, not cry). Four hours on the road is really not an excuse to avoid visiting people you love. I can't expect my father, at 77 years of age, to make regular trips of that distance, and my mother, who, even though she is a fair bit younger than dad, got her license quite late in life, thus her confidence on the road does not extend beyond her surrounding twin township of Echuca/Moama.

I went alone this time, or at least with no other human traveling companion... I did however take one of my dogs, (Teak), to fill that position, and she proved to be the perfect choice.


My father, who pretends to not really be a fan of dogs, (although secretly, he has a soft spot for them, especially well behaved female dogs, as they remind him of a German Shepard bitch he had, and adored, as a young adult), actually let her sleep inside next to me, which was completely unexpected. Anyone who knows my father would understand what a big thing that was!


That part of Australia really does have a certain charm to it. Taking a morning walk along the Murray, for me, is one of life's simple pleasures. It reminded me that traveling (itself) is the important thing, not whether it's an exotic or overseas destination, or a lengthy duration - although I do enjoy the opportunities when they arise - but the feeling of 'being on the road', of 'no set agenda' that is appealing and liberating.


Ah, the wide open road. There were a number of moments where I had such a strong desire to just keep driving... and driving...

...and driving.